Super Mario RPG 2: Luigi Goes Berserk
by Robbertomo Jerome Straightpen
Summary: Project discontinued in favour of original fiction on Check it out, all. Better than this crap...
1. It starts

I own nothing! Nintendo owns all characters, not me! With that put aside.  
  
Super Mario RPG 2:  
Luigi Goes Berserk  
Won't that be fun?  
  
Narrator: In the land of Mushroom Kingdom, peace has settled. Bowser has been melted, and no other evil has threatened the land since. Nothing lasts forever.  
  
Psychologist #1: Hold still this won't hurt.*He approached a middle-aged man with a head to large for his straightjacket.*  
  
Psychologist #2: Yeah, just lie down, and I'll give you your medication.*He approached the mustachioed one with a long needle.*  
  
Middle-aged man: Mario.kill.die! Must.destroy.*His eyes rolled into the back of his head as he received the injection.*  
  
Psychologist #1: That was easy. He didn't even resist that time. Who is he anyway?  
  
Psychologist #2: He is Luigi. Five months ago, Mario called saying his brother went crazy. We picked him up. Immediately he started banging his head against the padded walls of his soft little cell, screaming: "Must destroy all!" Weird, huh?  
  
Psychologist #1: Yeah.well, let's get some of that coffee over there. *He went and picked up the two foam cups on the floor of the cell.*  
  
As soon as the two took their first sip, they suddenly needed to attend to business. When they opened the bathroom door, a powerful magnet dragged them in by the pen.  
  
Conscience of #1 and 2: Give up the pens!  
  
1 and 2: No way! This is a one of a kind pen! *They look at each other.* What the.  
  
A log swung out of the ceiling and hit them both, sending them flying out the 100 floor window. The whole time they were falling, they continued to argue who had the original pen. Luigi (the middle-aged man) was laughing evilly in his happy little cell. There was a small knife on the floor, next to the remains of his straight jacket. He was unlocking the door with one of his mustache hairs.  
  
Luigi: Idiots! *The door clicked open* Never leave an insane killer alone in a bathroom! Now, I shall reign chaos the pitiful land of Mushroom Kingdom. Maybe beyond! *He laughed evilly to himself, and left the asylum*  
  
Hey, it's my first fic. If you like it, (unlikely) review and I will post more chapters of mass destruction. That's a big if. 


	2. The Fall of Mushroom Kingdom

Cyber Chicken: Hey! I got a new chapter up! Even though I only have ONE REVIEW, it was enough for me. Thanks to Kayla E. (whoever that is) who wrote that single review!  
  
Chapter Two: The Fall of Mushroom Kingdom  
  
Peach: Mario!? Mario? Does anyone know where Mario went?!  
  
Peach was running through the streets of Mushroom Kingdom, obviously trying to find Mario.  
  
Random Citizen: He went home, my fair princess. A weird boy with a red hat was with him.  
  
Peach: (angry) He shall be killed!  
  
She ran to Mario's house, which he used to share with his brother, Luigi. She entered, screaming her head off.  
  
Peach: Ash! I banished you from the Mushroom Kingdom! Leave, or you will suffer the same fate as the Koopas!  
  
Ash ran screaming out the back door. Mario was sitting at the dinning table, a romantic half-eaten meal in front of him.  
  
Mario: Hungry?  
  
Peach: (sigh) One Mario brother is insane, the other is gay! What happened to a know worries kingdom?  
  
Mario: Nothing lasts forever.  
  
Peach: (Mario's quoting of the last chapter angered her farther) Your brother broke out of the happy little asylum, destroying all the happy little patients and happy little doctors in it!"  
  
Mario: What happened to proper grammar?  
  
A large head appeared out of mid-air.  
  
Cyber Chicken: DO NOT QUESTION ME, MORTALS!  
  
Peach: Yes master! (She knelt on the ground and pressed her face to the floor)  
  
Mario: Master? Noone bosses me around! Except her!  
  
Cyber Chicken: (a sword goes through Mario's head) OBEY ME!  
  
Peach: You idiot! He's the author! The one obsessed with Collective Soul!  
  
Mario immediately fell to the ground. Mario: Great One!  
  
Cyber Chicken leaves.  
  
Peach: Go kill Luigi now Mario!  
  
Mario: No thanks.  
  
Cyber Chicken: Yes, Mario.  
  
Mario: No!  
  
The scene moves to outside the house. A high-pitched scream is heard, and an on-fire Mario is flung out of the room. He rolls until the fire is out.  
  
Mario: Okay, you convinced me, I'll save the world of video games!  
  
Two Hours Later...  
  
Peach and Mario are tied on two tied-together chairs in the remains of the Mushroom Kingdom Castle. Luigi is pacing before them.  
  
Luigi: I can't believe the Kingdom fell so fast. Like cheese through flaming gasoline!  
  
Peach: Actually, that would float.  
  
Luigi: Do not question my need to fit destruction into every sentence! Now you shall both die!  
  
Mario: How? You know video game characters are indestructible.  
  
Luigi: Look around!  
  
Mario did. All of the corpses had portable CD players with head phones. Mario: You didn't!  
  
Luigi: I did! I forced people to listen to modern pop for seven hours straight! On full volume! (laughs a sick, twisted, evil, and insane laugh)  
  
Luigi takes two head phones out of a large black army bag, and fits them to their ears. He also takes one out for himself. He hooked a CD player to both of Peach and Mario's ears. He uses a different one for himself.  
  
Peach: What are you doing?  
  
Luigi: While you are listening to Britney Spears, I will be listening to Collective Soul's Disceplined Breakdown!  
  
Peach: That is the cruelest and most unfair thing I have ever heard.  
  
Mario: (muttering to self) The wrong disc, wrong disc, please please please!  
  
Luigi: I won't have the wrong disc!  
  
Peach and Mario listened to modern pop until there heads blew up, while Luigi listened to Collective Soul.  
  
Cyber Chicken: That's so evil, it makes me shudder, and I thought up of it!  
  
Yay! I finished chapter two! Luigi is eager to conquer more areas. Send a video game empire in with your review. Thanks! 


	3. Yay! What I always wished!

Luigi belongs to Nintendo, not me! Star Fox and all the characters within it, belong again to Nintendo, not me! Cyber Chicken belongs to Cyber Chicken, not me! Wait...that ain't right...  
  
Thanks to CyberChickenHunter (cough...idiot...cough) for giving me the area that Luigi will conquer next. Enjoy!  
  
Chapter Three: Yay! What I always wished!  
  
Cyber Chicken: Welcome back! Luigi has escaped from his happy little padded cell in the Mushroom Kingdom Asylum, and destroyed the entire Kingdom! Mario and Peach were tortured to death (with modern pop)! Next, near the Inter-Video Game Portal of District 90217, or Meteo of the Lylat System, Luigi appears out of nowhere in a small spacecraft.  
  
Luigi: Isn't it fun computer, destroying things?  
  
Computer: I am not designed to think.  
  
Luigi: (holds up fist threateningly) Think!  
  
Computer:...no.  
  
Luigi: (opens hand, a green flame forms inside) DIEEE!!! (the fire hits the main computer console, warning light flash on)  
  
Recorded message: By the looks of it, your anger caused you to destroy the main computer system.  
  
Luigi: DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!!!! (shoots fireballs in random directions, then stops) What do I do to stop you?  
  
Cyber Chicken: You can't.  
  
Luigi: You again! How come you keep on appearing out of nowhere?  
  
Cyber Chicken: I'm the author, you idiot. There are some drugged cookies over there. Eat them and you'll feel perfectly happily insane.  
  
Luigi: Chocolate chip!  
  
Cyber Chicken: Sometimes I feel pity for him. (disappears)  
  
Luigi: All I need to do is arm the nuclear weapons in the ship, and set a course for the planet, then escape in an escape pod! That would work perfectly, except this ship has no escape pods...I'll just fly it down manually.  
  
Luigi armed the weapons, and directed the ship to Corneria. The ship fell through the atmosphere, and hit the ground. At impact, the powerful nukes exploded, destroying all life on the planet. A few minutes later, Luigi walked out of the little remains of his ship.  
  
Luigi: (falls to the ground and bows) GREAT ONE!!!!!!  
  
Cyber Chicken: What? You weren't supposed to blow your ship to bits!  
  
Luigi: Eh, it works. Anyway, will you manifest your powers and make me a new spacecraft?  
  
Cyber Chicken: (sigh) Cyber Chicken do this, Cyber Chicken do that! You'd think I was a slave or something!  
  
A larger and more luxurious ship appears. Luigi walks into it with a crazed grin on his face. After he leaves the planet, he sees the Great Fox approaching the planet.  
  
Rob 64: The whole planet has been destroyed.  
  
Fox: Well, that sucks.  
  
Falco: No comment here.  
  
Peppy: NO!!! FATHER!!!!!  
  
Slippy: YAY!!! Now that stupid General Pepper won't hire us over and over to do the same mission over and over!  
  
Falco: Never knew you had it in you, Slip. Hey, what's that ship? Let's destroy it!  
  
Fox: Sounds good to me.  
  
A few minutes later, Star Fox were in their Arwings and approaching Luigi's ship.  
  
Luigi: (sarcastically) Oh no! I'm in a giant, defenseless, unarmed ship and Star Fox is after me!  
  
I won't go into details, but eventually Slippy kills the whole team. Slippy and Luigi then team up against the video game universe!  
  
This fic needs more junk in it! Name a video game in your review and I will try to incorporate it into the story. Flames are welcome, then I can throw in a dirty insult at the beginning of the next chapter! 


	4. Random Killing

(disclaimer) Cyber Chicken: Hi. It's me again. This chapter is somewhat pointless. I have never played Pikman, nor do I plan on it. I don't know who owns Pikman, but I know I don't. Again, I don't want to. I don't own Nintendo, but I want to. I think Pikman is one of the most disturbing games ever made, that is why they shall all DIE!!! I kind of need to "shrink" if you know what I mean, hehe.  
  
Chapter Four: "Why Won't They Die?!"  
  
Luigi: (in huge luxury spacecraft) Well, things couldn't have gone better if I'd planned it myself.  
  
Robot: Sir, you did.  
  
Luigi: You would defy the AUTHOR!  
  
Robot: It is my pre-ordained purpose sir. (Cyber Chicken appears and hacks robot to bits)  
  
Luigi: Why did you randomly appear and hack my robot to bits?  
  
Cyber Chicken: Killing things relieves your stress, you should try it. (vanishes)  
  
Luigi: Sounds good. There's an inhabitable planet over there! (Luigi pulls the ship into orbit, he goes down onto the surface in a smaller shuttle steps out) Whoa! What are all these little things with lights on their heads?  
  
Pikman: (what noises do Pikman make)  
  
Luigi: Well, time to go into an insane rage of killing. (Luigi stomped on their heads, pounding them into the ground; the stupid little things popped back out and started stupidly walking in random directions) What the heck are these things? (Luigi dashes into his ship and retrieves a sword) This will do the trick! (he then ran out and hacked several of them to bits. The bits then formed into mini Pikmans. He than said in a happy, insane voice): Now I'm angry!  
  
Pikman: (sounds of humor)  
  
Luigi: (steps out with a huge flamethrower, cackles insanly as he burns the crap out of the Pikmans in the general area) There's no way I'll be able to kill them all...(Luigi flies back up to the large ship, he activates a weapon which blows the pathetic little planet to bits) There's no way there's going to be a sequel now! (starts singing to tune of Collective Soul's Why Part 2)  
  
In the air, I'm smelling your ashes,  
Because I blowed the crap out of yous.  
I know that didn't rhyme, I don't care.  
For you are dead now, it may seem not fair.  
So tell me why! You had to be annoying?  
Tell me why! I felt like destroying?  
Yeah you're dead, I'm fed  
Up with your annoyingness.  
So tell me why! You had to be annoying?!?!?!?!! 


	5. HI!

(disclaimer) cchicken: Out of request, this chapter is the destruction of the Kirby universe. Personally I really like the Kirby games. High quality kick crap stuff, really. But it's a good idea. Again I am not the CEO of Nintendo. I don't own crap in this fanfic. Except me. I'm mine.  
  
Luigi Goes Berserk  
  
Chapter 5: Hi-ahiiiiii!!!!!  
  
Luigi, supreme insane guy in this side of reality, was walking in the Dimensional Forest. Yep, jus wandering around, hoping he would be sucked into another Dimension so he can destroy it.  
  
Luigi: Another beautiful day in the state of insanity…(walks towards a hole in a ground) That's a rather large hole in the ground, probably a portal. Allyoop!  
  
Luigi has entered another game's reality, and may the residents beware!!!  
  
Kirby: Hi-ahiiiiiii!!!!!  
  
Luigi: Oh, my head…  
  
Luigi had landed in the Kirby Realm, more specifically Pop Star. More specifically landed on his head in the Kirby Realm, more specifically Pop Star.  
  
Kirby: You okaaayyyy sirrrrr?  
  
Luigi: What the hell are you?  
  
Kirby: (?) I don't know.  
  
Luigi: What do you mean you don't know?  
  
Kirby: I was never told…(bursts into tears)…Nobody knows what I am…I don't know either…I don't even know how I crap!! (indistinguishable complaining)  
  
Luigi: That's it, I'm gonna blow your planet to bits!!!!! (muttering under breath) FIRE 6!!!!! (the ground started shaking) Have fun, you poor excuse for a universe!  
  
Luigi grabbed a warp star and zoomed off, not realizing that Kirby attached him/her/itself to the bottom of the star. Pop Star, which is actually a planet, glowed with intense flames. It exploded with a jolt which knocked the warp star's occupant(s) unconscious.  
  
Luigi awoke: Where the hell am I?  
  
He was still in the cutesy Kirby environment. Those of you who have played Kirby before know exactly where he is.  
  
Kirby: You're in Dreamworld, you JERK!!!  
  
Kirby inhaled a plasma whisp nearby. He squished himself up, and suddenly he had a glowy hat. He put his stubs over his head.  
  
Kirby: Bolt 4!!! (I've been playing to much Final Fantasy)  
  
Luigi was struck directly by a large bolt, suddening him flying back into a nearby city, smashing it over.  
  
Random Citizen: You idiot! A couple hundred people live there! Or used to!  
  
Kirby: Whoops, my bad. Should have watched out for that huh?  
  
The city blew apart in a large explosion, leaving a gigantic crater. A flashing orb of electricity floated out of it.  
  
Luigi: insane laughing YOU INSOLENT LITTLE BALL OF RADIOACTIVE GOO!!!!!! I'M FINISHED WITH YOUR PATHETIC, CUTSEY REALM! DIE YOU WORTHLESS EXCUSE FOR LIVING MATTER!  
  
Luigi blasted many planetary devestation blasts, with frenzied laughter, at the nearby area.  
  
Luigi: He couldn't possibly have survived that...no precious, he couldn't...oh, I wanted a friend...you have no friends, noone likes you...Master like's me, Master's my friend, wait...you have no friends Smeagol...Smeagol? You're way off...damn I'm bad at this skitzefrenia thing aren't I? You're not even a hobbit! See ya...bye, whoever.  
  
Cyber Chicken: The next chapter will involve Sonic the Hegdehog and that random junk.  
  
Random Citizen 2: How does he get there?  
  
Cyber Chicken: Uh.......be gone, worthless scum! citizen vanishes Plotholes are bad. bangs head against screen bad...bang...bad...bang...bad...  
  
P.S.: The Gullom tie-in and plothole stuff are a direct result of reading Bob and George  
  
(click first comic, it'll be for you're own good) 


End file.
